


I Hate You, I Love You

by kayftw



Series: This is Our Song and Dance [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Bartley, Bondage, Distrust, Dom!Hartley, Feelings, Hate Sex, M/M, Manipulation, Self Loathing, Smut, Sub!Barry, Topping from the Bottom, dark Hartley, dubcon elements, jealous Hartley, mentions of Iris/Barry, mentions of pining Barry, possessive Hartley, sex as manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:50:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayftw/pseuds/kayftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I hate you I love you<br/>I hate that I love you<br/>Don't want to, but I can't put<br/>Nobody else above you<br/>I hate you I love you<br/>I hate that I want you" - I Hate U I Love You - Gnash</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Wanna Feel Your Kiss Against My Lips

**Author's Note:**

> "Feeling used  
> But I'm  
> Still missing you  
> And I can't  
> See the end of this  
> Just wanna feel your kiss  
> Against my lips"

Hartley had felt the tension in him from the moment he laid eyes on the scarlet speedster, from the moment he saw those eyes shine with challenge and that cocky curl to his lips. It was a tension that was a strange mixture of fascination, anger, and attraction. Hartley was never one to be attracted to just any man, no; he loved men with greatness in them. With that boy in high school, it was the way he could speak to people; make them do whatever he wanted. With Harrison, it had been his intellect, his fierce determination that could bow mountains, wash over everything like a tidal wave… At first, he thought it was simply the Flash’s powers that drew him in, but…

It was the way he seemed to keep hoping. That hope that never died no matter how many bad things happened, the uncrushable faith he had. Hartley knew who the Flash was, he was no fool(though he’d yet to let that little card of his show). Barry Allen… he knew all about his past, and what he’d been through- his mother’s murder, his father’s imprisonment, Harrison’s betrayal… And yet, still that hope remained. It was utterly infuriating and impossibly attractive and all Hartley wanted to do was break it, to see the light fade from his eyes and replace it with darkness. Because more than anything…

He hated when that hope was directed at _him_. He was not a good person. He had been, once upon a time… but he had faced too many betrayals in his life. The faith that Barry Allen held for the world, while certainly brighter and purer than Hartley’s had ever been, was something that had been stamped out of him a long time ago. Life had shown him what people really were.

But Barry… oh, he’d watched him from the shadows, studied him. He knew the man was helplessly in love with that girl- Iris West. He didn’t see the appeal, she seemed like such a trivial thing to him. Something in him was so furious, a sick twisted feeling in his gut every time he saw that kicked puppy look when Iris turned away from him, that hopeless longing that she would turn around and kiss him. He’d seen Barry stare at her picture, trace his fingers over it with the most disgustingly loving expression, and every time he ended up grinding his teeth, glaring acid from the shadows, wanting to destroy him, to take him, to _claim_ him… He had no idea why, and it drove him insane. He focused on his plan, the plan to bring the Flash down, to raze this pathetic little blip on the map… He wanted to punish everyone for turning on him.

And now, here… With the Flash weakened and his powers temporarily sapped, pinned against a wall, the man had the gall to look at him with that _damned_ faith. “You don’t have to do this, Hartley. You can stop, you can do the right thing. I know what you’ve gone through is terrible, I know you were hurt but you are _smart_ , Hartley! You can become so much mo-“

Hartley didn’t know what had snapped in him, but his lips were pressed against Barry’s, furious and heated. Barry made a startled noise, a little shiver running through him. At first, he struggled, tried to squirm away, but then… Hartley gasped, completely shocked as the speedster didn’t pull away, but _pulled him closer_. The hand knotted in his shirt yanked him closer as the Flash _kissed him back_.

It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t loving. No, it was all lust and fury, teeth and tongue… Hartley growled, pressing his hips against Flash’s, grinding against him and the hero groaned, his legs spreading a little. A thrill went through Hartley, the possessiveness he’d felt looking at the speedster from a distance only growing in intensity as Barry gave in more and more.

Hartley was glad he’d busted the com system in the suit because soon they were basically dry humping; moaning and clinging to each other, and the noises that left the hero were downright _obscene_. He wasn’t pinning the Flash anymore, not really. But then, the hero wasn’t exactly _trying to get away_. Hartley wasn’t sure who first started pulling at clothes, but after a few heated moments…

Fingers knotted in his hair, moans mingling in the bare centimeters between their kiss bitten lips as his hand- stripped of his glove in a fit of need- stroked over their cocks. Barry hadn’t let him take the cowl off, but he supposed that made sense, considering he didn’t know Hartley already knew his identity. He was tempted to admit it, just so he could tangle his fingers in that ridiculously attractive hair of his, but he didn’t want to risk ruining this moment.

It was hot, intense, and Hartley’s heart was racing, his pupils dilated. Here he had him, Barry Allen… The Flash caught in his web and completely his- if only for this moment. Hartley let out a choked moan as Barry’s body began to vibrate against his, sending a shock of pleasure through him. “Jesus, hero…” Barry was getting his powers back, and he knew he should worry, should stop this and run while he still could… but he couldn’t stop. Hartley groaned; hips jerking as his strokes grew faster, his fist tightening around them.

“H-Hartley…!” Barry cried out, fingers tightening in Hartley’s hair in a way that had the shorter man shuddering in pleasure. “G… gonna come,” Barry’s voice was broken, his words panted out.

“ **No** ,” Hartley growled, his free hand moving to grab the Flash’s jaw and force him to look into his eyes. Barry’s pupils were blown, his lips parted and his face flushed. He could feel Barry’s pulse and it was frighteningly fast… “Not until I say you can, _hero_ ,” he hissed bitterly.

Barry whined, his eyes growing lidded as he fought to hold back. The expression was too much, and Hartley couldn’t resist, slotting their lips together, his tongue forcing its way inside, claiming, possessive, and demanding. Barry’s vibrating pulsated, growing in frequency and he knew they both were close; dangerously so.

He pulled back, a ragged groan tearing from him, his eyes squeezing shut as he pressed their foreheads together. “Now, Barry… Come for me _now_ ,” he didn’t catch the slip, too caught up in the heat. Barry seemed to miss it as well, because all he did was move lightning fast and bite Hartley’s neck hard, sending sparks of pleasure through him, making him gasp and groan as they both lost it and fell over the edge.

Barry let go and slumped, and Hartley let him go, watching as he slid down the wall. Barry was breathless, flushed, looking completely dazed. He was covered in a mixture of his own and Hartley’s come and Hartley couldn’t help but grin, a flicker of wicked pride in his eyes as he took in the sight. He himself had some come on his shirt, but one zip of his jacket and that would be hidden away.

“Look at you now, Flash… What would your team say if they saw this sight?” He purred, raising his clean hand to “take a picture” with his hand. He considered a moment, before he reached out his come covered hand and slid his messy fingers across Barry’s jaw, across his cheek and his face. He didn’t know why he did it; some primal need to claim, he supposed… But he was shocked to see Barry shiver, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. It was so _submissive_ ; it sent a thrill through him, the possessiveness he felt from before flare up. _Mine_ , he thought to himself. “See you around… _Barry_ ,” he smirked, wiping his hand off on his shirt before zipping up his jacket. He picked up his glove and stalked off, leaving a stunned Barry Allen sitting on the floor.

He knew this wasn’t over. He couldn’t let it be. Barry Allen was everything he hated and everything he craved and he wanted _more_.


	2. I Hate That I Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you I love you  
> I hate that I love you  
> Don't want to, but I can't put  
> Nobody else above you  
> I hate you I love you  
> I hate that I want you" - I Hate U I Love U by Gnash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubcon elements to this chapter, but hey, that's kind of what this fic is about, no?

He hadn’t expected his impatience, his need to grow so quickly. He had hoped he might be sated for some time, let things simmer, let Barry Allen fret for a while… but a week later and he was obsessing; practically itching for his fix. The image of Barry shivering and closing his eyes as he smeared come across his face was haunting, and he couldn’t let it go.

As barbaric as it was, he’d tried staving off his need by taking matters into his own hand, letting himself fantasize… but it only made it worse, new ideas seeping into his mind and infecting it, the desire rapidly turning into a need. It took him no time at all to develop a plan, and it was sickeningly easy to employ it.

It had been simple to pick the lock on the suburban home… he’d already memorized Joe West’s schedule as well as Barry Allen’s, so slipping in and hiding in Barry’s closet had been child’s play. He didn’t strike right away, though… oh no, he waited, _watched_.

Barry seemed stressed as he paced about the room, picking up his phone and hesitating before setting it down not once, but five times. Hartley tilted his head at the sight, curious. Barry sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hands over his face. “Just another lie, Barr… Just one more…”

It was obvious Barry hadn’t told his friends about their… activities, but the realization that the hero had kept Hartley’s knowledge of his identity secret from them as well was a surprising one. What did he hope to protect? Or did he think that if he told them, Hartley would reveal their dalliance? Or perhaps… but no, he pushed the thought away. Either way, he grinned wickedly, white teeth gleaming in the thin stream of light filtering in through the crack, blue eyes shimmering with hunger.

_Already mine_ , he thought to himself as he slipped quietly out when Barry stood to look out the window. “Got something on you mind, _Flash_?” Hartley purred, pleased to see Barry jump and turn around with wide eyes. He moved to attack and Hartley held up one gloved hand. “Don’t even think about it, _Barry_ … I set up a live link that will upload evidence of your true identity as well as your picture and not only your address, but the addresses of everyone you hold dear,” Barry went rigid, freezing, and Hartley grinned wickedly. “Cisco Ramon… Caitlin Snow… Joe West… _Iris. West._ ” He hissed the last name and the flinch he saw from Allen was both satisfying and utterly aggravating.

Barry pursed his lips. “What do you want, Rathaway?” he said, his tone abrupt and strained as he clearly fought the urge to attack anyway.

Hartley tilted his head. “I would have thought I made that clear last time… or are you that thick?” he sneered slightly as Barry glared, seeming to bristle even further. He pulled back his hood, pulling his clothes back to reveal a fading bite mark that Barry had left from the last time, and Barry’s whole face flushed red with embarrassment as he was faced with evidence of his own actions. Hartley grinned, pleased that Allen seemed to understand his position a little better. “And you’re going to do… _exactly_ as I say, aren’t you, Allen? Because we wouldn’t want that information leaked, now would we?” Sensing he was still hesitating, Hartley stepped closer, leaning in to hiss a whisper. “Or would you like your little… _crush_ ,” he spit the word. “To be offered up on a platter to all the people pissed at the Flash?” He glared with acid in his eyes. “You got one chance.”

He saw some of the light die in Barry’s eyes, devotion and desperation replacing it. He would do anything for her, he realized it then. And it _infuriated_ him. He wanted to break him. “… what do you want me to do?” he said quietly, his voice a little shaky with the anger Hartley could see in those eyes.

He grinned in a taunting way, chuckling. “Oh, Barry…” He reached forward, stroking his fingers over Barry’s face in a mimic of the move he’d done a week ago. Barry seemed to remember because he shivered, his face flushing. “You are going to kneel,” he began, to which Barry’s eyes widened. “And then you’re going to open up my pants…” he leaned forward, so close his breath ghosted over Barry’s lips. “And you’re going to suck me until I pull you off.”

“Hartl-mmph!” Hartley grabbed the back of Barry’s head, yanking him down for a heated kiss. The taller man shuddered, moaning against Hartley’s lips. He hesitated at first, but as Hartley pressed forward, demanding more and more, Barry gave in, his hands moving to cling to his jacket as he tilted his head and submitted. Hartley growled as he pulled back.

Barry was already panting and flushed, his lips reddened from the way Hartley had bitten and sucked at them. Hartley swallowed; the need already so intense. “I’m going to take my gloves off… you’ll do well to remember what I have on you,” Barry tensed, but nodded. Hartley removed his gloves and set them on the bed, before turning to Barry. “Kneel.” His tone was smooth, commanding without being aggressive, dripping confidence bordering on arrogance.

Barry hesitated, but slowly… he lowered himself. Hartley watched with rapt attention. “Undress me.” Barry gaped, seeming about to say something, before he closed his mouth, a look of duty crossing his face that made Hartley feel sick inside. Shaky hands raised and undid the button on his pants. Was he scared because of the power Hartley held over him? Something in him told him it was not that simple. His fly followed, and after a moment of hesitation, Barry tugged his pants and his briefs down. His breath hitched as sea green eyes landed on Hartley’s already straining cock, a flicker of uncertainty that Hartley recognized.

“You…” he stared down at Barry with wide eyes, his brow knit. Barry looked up with dread. “You’re a _virgin_ , aren’t you?” Barry’s cheeks heated and Hartley laughed, the sound surprised and mocking and Barry flinched, ducking his head. “The Flash… Hero of Central City… a **virgin**. This is _priceless_ ,” he laughed some more and Barry squirmed, blushing up to his ears with shame and embarrassment.

It took a moment, but Hartley calmed his laughter, grinning down at Barry before moving to sit on the edge of the bed, pants and underwear bunched around his calves. “Come here Barry,” Hartley beckoned him and Barry looked up to glare at his chin(probably too embarrassed to meet his eyes) before looking away. “Don’t pout, Barry. It’s very unbecoming. Now... I gave you an order. **Come. Here.** ” Barry flinched a bit at the sudden viciousness in Hartley’s tone before complying, kneeling before him.

Barry flinched once more as Hartley reached out a hand, but Hartley shushed him. His fingers carded through Barry’s hair. “Breaking virgins has never held much appeal for me,” Barry tensed, biting his lip and Hartley growled a bit, hand moving down to yank Barry’s head up by his chin, forcing him to look at him. “I will be… patient,” Hartley conceded after a moment. He could see the relief on Barry’s face and his own expression turned stern. “But you _will_ do this.”

Barry swallowed, his throat bobbing in a way that drew Hartley’s attention and held it, his cock twitching with interest as Hartley’s gaze traveled the long line of his throat up until his gaze locked onto Barry’s lips. The man licked his lips in a nervous gesture and Hartley’s pupils darkened with lust. Did the man even realize what he did to Hartley? Hartley moved his hand back, fingers tracing along his jaw, over his ear(to which Barry shivered), before settling at the back of his neck. He pulled Barry forward, his intention’s clear, and Barry’s breath caught, his eyes widening. “W-wait, I don’t- I-I don’t know what to…”

“Shh, hush Barry,” Hartley cooed, his tone smooth and just a hint condescending. “I will guide you.” The look Barry gave him was so open, so exposed… Hartley had to take a deep breath to calm himself, his state of arousal almost embarrassing in its intensity. “Now…” he pulled Barry closer again, and while he hesitated, he eventually gave in. “Use your tongue, Barry.”

Barry hesitated, a wordless little nervous noise in the back of his throat… Hartley was patient, simply holding him in place and waiting. Eventually, Barry’s lips parted and the man kitten licked across the head. Hartley sucked in a sharp breath, his grip on the back of Barry’s neck tightening. “Good, Barry… keep doing that… add a little pressure,” he encouraged, praised, and was pleased to see Barry taking it well; blushing and obliging, eyes growing lidded as he submitted. He moved; licking along his length and up, little kitten licks mixed with broad swipes of his tongue. Hartley was breathing harder, finding the sight of Barry Allen on his knees licking his cock to be quite possibly the most arousing thing next to his face covered in come.

Barry’s tongue flicked over the head, dipping into the slit and Hartley groaned, a bit of precome beading at the tip. “Fuck, Barry…” he looked down and watched as Barry breathed warm breath over his cock, his lips parted… He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed that mouth on him. “Open your mouth.” Barry looked up at him with wide eyes and Hartley surprised himself by tracing his thumb along the back of Barry’s neck. The man responded with his eyes fluttering for a bit, a little sigh leaving him. Hartley didn’t need to say more, because Barry’s mouth opened and Hartley found he didn’t even have to pull Barry down, because the man leaned forward with the gentlest of presses.

His cock slipped into that mouth and Hartley licked his lips. “Wrap your lips around it; be careful to cover your teeth.” Barry obliged, his lips forming a tight ring around his cock and Hartley moaned, cursing under his breath at the wet heat. “S… suck,” he breathed, flushed with arousal.

Barry was so good, and did exactly as he was told, sucking, the addition of his tongue pressing along the underside sending a shock of pleasure through him. “Ahh, fuck… that’s good Barry, you’re doing so good…” he carded his fingers through Barry’s hair. “Keep sucking, but start bobbing your head…” He listened, little shy bobs at first and as praises left Hartley, he sped up, taking more and more and Hartley cursed, fingers gripping into Barry’s hair.

A little whine left him and Hartley growled as he started to pull back, yanking him down by the hair again, forcing him to take more. He was shocked as a vibration ran through Barry, a moan leaving him as he gave in, and Hartley groaned, leg muscles tightening and his head tossed back as the vibration nearly drew him over the edge. “Fuck, Barry… you like that don’t you? You like having your hair pulled… Hell, you're probably hard right now, aren’t you?”

Barry’s hollowed cheeks were burning, his eyes closed and his lips red… He was trying so hard not to listen to Hartley, he could tell, so Hartley would make certain his attention was where it should be. He moved his foot, pressing his boot against Barry’s crotch with just enough pressure to be felt. Barry gasped around his cock, a vibration passing through him as he fucking _whimpered_ and Hartley knew his suspicions were correct.

Barry glared up at him hatefully, but Hartley’s grip on his hair kept him in place. Hartley just laughed- his expression one of cruel delight. “Oh Barry…” He grinned wickedly. “Should I be nice?” Barry blinked, looking confused and Hartley carded his fingers through Barry’s hair. “You be a good boy, Barry… and I might let you come, too.”

The expression on Barry’s face was priceless. Flushed and wide-eyed with shock with just the barest hint of desire, soon melting into an embarrassed, hesitant look. Oh, Hartley loved it. “Suck,” he ordered, yanking Barry’s hair again, pleased as a little whine left him and his eyes grew hooded. Hartley kept his foot there, the slight pressure enough to keep Barry in check, to remind him of Hartley’s intentions.

Soon though, Barry’s mouth on him had him moaning, his fingers tightening, his head tilted back as he panted, his expression twisted into intense pleasure and need and the virgin clumsily dragged him closer and closer to orgasm. “Barry… _Barry_ ,” Hartley groaned, his fingers tightening in Barry’s hair as he took over control of the pace, moving Barry on his cock in exactly the way he wanted. Barry seemed to like it too, if the fact he was subtly grinding against Hartley’s boot was anything to go by.

The thought that Barry was actually getting off on just sucking him off was too much. “Fuck!” Hartley cursed, yanking Barry back just in time to come- white fluid splattering across Barry’s cheeks and lips, a little across his nose and down his chin. Barry shuddered, heavy lidded eyes with blown pupils, swollen, red lips parted as he panted, and cheeks flushed… He’d never looked so debauched and Hartley snapped. He shoved Barry back so the man was sprawled on the ground and dove down, tearing his pants open. “Such a good boy, such a good fucking boy for me Barry, gonna reward you,” he was half growling, half snarling, a touch of a moan in his tone.

Barry shuddered, gaping as he fought to find words. “H-Hartley, what are y-ohh _fuck_!” Barry arched as Hartley swallowed his cock down in one fell swoop, the speedsters back arching and a full body vibration blurring the man for a moment. Hartley didn’t relent, didn’t build up. No, he sucked Barry like he was dying for it, bobbing and sucking hard and fast, his tongue wicked and talented in a way that only came with practice. The virgin was helpless to it and it wasn’t long at all before he came right down Hartley’s throat. Hartley let him, but didn’t swallow. He worked Barry through it until Barry was trembling and whining, trying to get away from the sensation.

He moved up and crashed their lips together, fingers knotted in Barry’s hair as he shoved his come covered tongue down Barry’s throat. Barry made a startled sound before shuddering, moaning and whining as he submitted, shrinking beneath Hartley. Hartley kissed him until Barry was back to clinging to him, yanking his hair so Barry groaned, before pulling back, a line of come and spit connecting them for just a moment before breaking.

He grinned wickedly down at Barry, eyes flashing with possessiveness and glee at the sight before him. Barry Allen… he looked so completely fucked out and boneless, panting and flushed… Hartley thrilled at the sight. “Fuck you’re gorgeous like this…” he purred.

Barry’s gaze dropped, focusing on Hartley’s cheek, and Hartley tilted his head, eyes searching Barry’s face. What was he looking at? Barry leaned forward and he tensed, but… Barry’s tongue swiped across his cheek and he pulled back, showing a bit of Hartley’s own come that had smeared off Barry’s face and onto his during the kiss. He watched as Barry swallowed; his expression so completely… Hartley couldn’t even describe it.

That possessiveness flared up, and Hartley seriously wished he could leave a mark on the man… a bite mark or sucked kiss that would tell everyone he was claimed. But he knew anything he left wouldn’t last longer than a few hours at most. _Shame_. Instead, he rewarded Barry’s submission by carding his fingers through his hair. “Good boy,” he praised and he saw the softness in his expression as his eyes slipped closed and he sighed, leaning into the touch.

_A true sub_. Hartley already knew he wanted this again… He was tempted to kiss Barry again, but that wasn’t what this was. His thoughts darkened and he pulled himself up, righting his clothes and looking down at Barry who was still too fucked out to get up. “This isn’t over, _Flash_ ,” he purred, a wicked curl to his lips as Barry looked at him with a conflicted expression. He looked Barry over for one more moment, taking in the sight and committing it to his memory before turning and leaving.

Barry Allen… was quite possibly going to be the end of him in an entirely new way.


	3. Realize How Much I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And now all this time  
> Is passing by  
> But I still can't seem to tell you why  
> It hurts me every time I see you  
> Realize how much I need you" - I Hate U, I Love U by Gnash

Sneaking up on Barry Allen was embarrassingly easy. He was half tempted to tell the man he should be more wary, just in case anyone else got the idea to play with him… but then, it would make what he planned on doing more difficult, so he kept it to himself. He had been thinking about what he wanted to do to Barry since the last time, the submissive look on his face giving Hartley all sorts of ideas, but one in particular had stuck. Barry was walking through the alley on the way to his bus stop, same route he took every day after ending his shift at the CCPD.

He snuck up behind Barry, silent as death, and raised his gloved hand. With one perfectly pitched and adjusted pulse aimed at the top of his spinal cord, Barry Allen collapsed to the ground, unconscious. “Too easy,” Hartley chuckled.

Moving Allen had been a bit of a struggle; the man was all long limbs and Hartley’s forte was not his strength. Still, he managed, and soon… He had Barry Allen in one of his safe houses, restrained. He had stripped him, tied him tightly with soft rope… but he had made sure to tie in a way that Barry wouldn’t be able to move enough to build up momentum to phase.

He was completely as Hartley’s mercy, and he didn’t even know it yet. Hartley looked over his form, the beautiful skin he’d barely gotten to taste, the soft brunette locks of hair that always seemed to fall perfectly no matter the circumstance, the soft lips, and smooth face… The way he looked with rope wrapped around him… Wrists tied firmly to the bedframe, his thighs tied to his calves, rope wound up towards a harness he’d made around his chest and shoulders- tied specifically to spread his legs. Call him a sentimentalist, but he’d chosen a red rope… and it looked _stunning_ against his pale skin.

He saw Barry scrunch his nose, his brow crease as a little noise left him. Barry was waking, and Hartley _couldn’t wait_. His hood was pulled on, lowered to shield his eyes from Barry’s sight, though he watched with rapt attention. He wasn’t wearing his gloves, oh no… he had no reason to. Barry was bound, and by a lot more than rope.

Barry’s eyes fluttered open, and he could see bleariness in them for a moment, before confusion. He looked around, and when he tried to move, his eyes flew open. Fear was on his face, his breath hitching as he tried and failed to struggle. “Wh-what the hell?!” Barry’s voice was slightly pitched and Hartley grinned.

He slowly stepped into the low light, and Barry’s eyes fell on him. Oddly enough, there was almost _relief_ in his eyes before confusion and indignation. “Hartley! What the hell is this?!”

Hartley chuckled darkly moving closer, dragging his hand along Barry’s skin, from his belly up his chest and throat until he was grabbing Barry’s jaw. The man tried to get away, but with the combination of Hartley’s grip and the tight bounds, that was impossible. “I saw something in you, Barry Allen…” He squeezed Barry’s jaw until Barry’s eyes narrowed, watering slightly in pain. “A part of yourself that you have clearly been denying. And I am here,” he grinned. “To bring it out.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Barry hissed through grit teeth as he stared up and Hartley, his brow knit in confusion and his eyes shining with worry.

Hartley tutted. “Oh Barry… you really are a naïve little thing, aren’t you?” Barry glared and Hartley chuckled, shoving Barry’s face away before releasing his jaw. “I was nice last time,” he looked sternly at Barry. “Don’t expect it this time.”

Barry’s eyes widened. “H… Hartley,” he began, sounding reproachful. “Whatever you’re thinking about doing, I think you should seriously reconsider because-“

“Because what? I shouldn’t do it? It’s… what, _wrong_?” He broke into a condescending smile, showing his teeth as he laughed, slowly beginning to pace about the room. “Something I don’t think you seem to grasp, Barry…” He carded his fingers in Barry’s hair and yanked his head back, a startled sound leaving Barry, though when Hartley looked down, he saw clear signs of arousal. “Here?” He leaned close, lips grazing Barry’s ear as he spoke lowly, a purr to his tone that held a definite note of danger. “You’re _mine_.”

Barry shivered, his breath a little shaky, but Hartley could already tell it was not out of fear- at least not entirely. Barry opened his mouth as Hartley pulled back, clearly about to deny Hartley’s claim, so Hartley yanked at his hair again, pulling a moan from his lips instead. “I’m going to have you begging me by the end of this, _Flash_.”

“I won’t,” Barry said brazenly and Hartley grinned, reaching down to trace a finger around Barry’s slowly hardening cock. The man sucked in a sharp breath, snapping his mouth shut and narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, you say that now…” he purred, moving to scratch along Barry’s inner thighs. Barry gasped lightly, surprising himself as his legs twitched as though to spread further. “But something in you has _longed_ for this, and you know it.”

“You’re wrong!” Barry snapped suddenly, defensive and so thick with denial it was actually pathetic.

Hartley tsked, an unamused expression on his face. “You know what, Allen? I think I’m through listening to you.” He picked up a ballgag; red with holes in it, the black leather strap soft and pliable.

Barry caught sight of it as he raised it and his eyes flew wide, genuine fear. “W-wait, no no no, don’t do this,” he began pleading and Hartley couldn’t help but laugh.

“See? Already have you begging,” he grinned as Barry swallowed. “But no, that’s not what I want to hear. Not like that, at least.” Barry fought it, but with a ruthless grip to his jaw, Hartley forced it in, buckling it in place against the back of his head.

Barry was furious, growling and spitting muffled insults through the gag. Because of the holes, he could hear every sound, but no words. And how Barry looked with his lips spread around it… It was _beautiful_. “You know, I’ve been planning for this since our last play date,” Barry glared hatefully and Hartley grinned. “Want to see something? I made it especially for tonight,” he mused, pressing a button and moving quickly to move Barry.

Barry made a startled sound as the bars of the headboard began to move, flipping over. With Hartley’s help, Barry was soon on his knees his face barely hovering over the blankets. Barry was complaining and Hartley pet along his spine, humming pleasantly.  
“When I think you’re ready to beg I’ll flip you over again,” he cooed. “But so long as you have that gag in… I need to have you like this.” Because he really didn’t feel like having to take the ballgag out when Barry started drooling- something that was inevitable with a ballgag in his mouth. Face down like this, drowning in his own drool wasn’t even a concern.

Still, it was a shame he wouldn’t be able to watch the speedsters face. He had started off with light scratches at first… breaking it up with a few deep ones that left angry red lines in their wake and had Barry trying to arch away from them at first. The first strike of a riding crop across his back had been a shock for the hero, who gasped and groaned, a shudder passing through him.

Hartley dragged the riding crop along his skin. “You know, I’ve been in a position much like your own before, Barry. Not exactly, but close.” He snapped the crop across his right ass cheek and Barry yelped from around the gag. “A man named Jason… oh, he was strong and sexy and rough in a way no one had ever been with me. Sure, people can talk big, but _him_?” He snapped it down again, left cheek this time and Barry shuddered. “He knew just what to do to have me trembling…”

He lightly tapped the riding crop against the space between his shoulder blades and he was pleased as Barry flinched as though it had been a real hit. He chuckled, loving the sound of Barry’s muffled, wet sounding pants. “It feels good, doesn’t it Barry? To not know when…” he slowly traced the crop along his spine. “Or how…” He tapped softly on his left side. “You’ll feel it. But when you do? Oh, _nothing_ -“ he snapped it down hard across his back to which Barry moaned loudly, arching into it rather than away. “Compares.” Again and again the blows came, until Barry was trembling, covered in red marks and twitching.

The next touch that came was Hartley’s hand, sliding soothingly up his spine, to which Barry whimpered, pressing up into it despite the sharp sting he knew the speedster felt every time he passed over a mark. Up his spine, his neck…

He knotted his fingers into brunette locks and pulled Barry’s head back by his hair. He was limp, and as Hartley looked at his face for the first time in he wasn’t sure how long… Splotchy, flushed cheeks, dull, dilated pupils, swollen red lips, a dazed expression on his face and a line of drool down his chin from the ballgag. If Hartley had been hard _before_ … Hartley closed his eyes, taking in a slow breath through his nose, trying to calm himself. He leaned in close, whispering into Barry’s ear. “Are you ready to be my good boy, now?”

Barry made a small whining sound, desperate and pleading and so submissive, and Hartley knew he was ready. Hartley grinned, undoing the buckle and gently removing the gag. Drool spilled out and Barry slumped, panting openly, his lips parted and his eyes hooded. He was _deep_ in subspace, and Hartley thrilled at it. “Good boy, so good for me…” he praised, carding his fingers through Barry’s hair. Barry made a small, helpless sound, leaning weakly into the touch and Hartley felt… a strange flicker of _fondness_ at the sight.

He swallowed, pulling away to press the button before helping Barry turn. Barry didn’t protest, though he did hiss a little as he lay on his back. “Shh, shh… hush now, Barry. It’s going to feel good again, I promise.” Barry relaxed at his words, his head flopping back. “You’ve been so good Barry, I’m going to give you a reward.”

He had debated what path to take for this next part the entire session, but seeing Barry like this… his mind made up. He would keep Barry off his game, keep doing the unexpected. Besides… something about his rawness told Hartley he wasn’t ready for the other way just yet. And that was fine by Hartley, because either way… he would get his way.

He reached into the drawer and pulled out two things… The first he kept from Barry’s gaze, the other… He held up a blindfold. “I’m going to make you feel good Barry, but I can’t have you watching me, predicting what I’m about to do,” Barry whimpered softly, but didn’t protest. Pleased, Hartley slipped the blindfold on, carding his fingers through Barry’s hair a moment. “Such a good boy for me…” his voice was almost… soft.

He swallowed, looking Barry over. He was so beautiful like this, the total submission utterly fascinating and awe inspiring. Before he thought about it, he brushed a gentle kiss over Barry’s lips. Barry sucked in a sharp breath, not having expected it, but Hartley pulled away before he could make the situation worse. _That’s not what this is, Hartley. Don’t fool yourself._

Hartley stripped, groaning softly as his aching cock was freed from his too-tight jeans. He moved, climbing up onto the bed and settling himself. He licked a strip up Barry’s swollen, leaking cock and Barry yelped, hips jerking and a whine leaving him. “Hush, Barry. I’ve got you.” He mouthed slowly along the hardened flesh and Barry’s breath picked up, his chest heaving and his legs trembling. As he did that, he popped the cap on the bottle and slicked his fingers.

He wrapped his lips around the head of Barry’s cock and slowly laved his tongue across the head, causing Barry to groan loudly. “H… Hartley,” his name came from those lips, thick with lust and slurred from how hazy his mind was with submission. Hartley answered by slowly moving along the length, taking more before pulling back, the suction gentle.

Pressing fingers into his own body was nothing new, but _fuck_ did it feel good after being untouched for so long. He moaned softly and Barry gasped, arching as a vibration passed through him. “Not yet, Barry,” Hartley said as he pulled off his cock. “Be patient.” Barry whined, squirming the little he could bound like this. Hartley decided to stick to licks and sucking kisses, his fingers working him open until he himself was shaking from need, his hot breath panted against Barry’s spit-slick cock.

Finally, he couldn’t handle it anymore and he pulled up. “I’m gonna undo some of your bounds, Barry. You’re going to be a good boy for me and behave, aren’t you?”

Barry’s breath caught, but he nodded. “Y… yes,” he spoke softly and Hartley made a little prompting noise, as though he wanted Barry to continue. Barry’s ears burned and he ducked his head a little. “Y-yes _sir_ ,” he added quietly. “I’ll be a good boy.”  
Hartley was glad he’d blindfolded Barry, because the smile on his face was far too wide to be considered decent. “There’s a good boy,” he purred, petting along Barry’s legs before slowly undoing the ties that connected his legs to the harness. After that was done, he undid the rope around his calves and thighs. Barry made a little noise of discomfort as Hartley stretched out his legs and Hartley hushed him gently, rubbing at the tense muscles until he felt Barry relax. When he was sure the speedster’s legs were better, he moved.

“I promised to reward you, didn’t I, Barry?” he purred, moving up to slip the blindfold off. Barry blinked, looking dazed as he looked up at Hartley and the smaller man hummed, pleased at the look on his face. He arched an eyebrow and Barry nodded somewhat clumsily. “You’ll find that while I may be a bad man, I always keep my promises. Now…”

He moved grabbing a condom and locking his eyes with Barry, making certain the speedster watched as he tore it open slowly, using his teeth. Barry’s breath caught, his eyes widening. “Y-you’re not gonna… do _that_ are you…?” he sounded almost pleading, and Hartley smirked, sliding the condom onto Barry, who gasped, shuddering. “W-wait, what are you-?”

“I’m going to teach you a little lesson, Barry. Let’s see if your subpar intelligence can comprehend the message.” Barry looked confused, and Hartley poured lube into his hand stroking over Barry’s cock in a way that had the man’s mouth falling further open in a groan. Hartley moved to straddle him and Barry’s eyes went wide in shock as he saw the lube sliding down Hartley’s thighs.

Hartley couldn’t contain his smug grin at the disbelief in his eyes. “What, thought I would be topping you?” He chuckled. “You couldn’t handle me, _cupcake_ ,” he mocked before moving and pressing down. He was tight, so he hissed slightly as Barry’s cock breached the first ring of muscle, before sinking down further.

“Oh _god_ …!” Barry groaned gutturally, his eyes rolling back as his head flopped back, his arms straining against the bounds so hard the rope creaked and his muscles bulged.

“Don’t come,” Hartley hissed tightly, a threat in his tone as he continued to sink down until Barry was fully sheathed, trembling and breathing heavily beneath him. “Nng,” Hartley wasn’t a virgin by any means, but it had been a long time since he’d let anyone fuck him, so the stretch burned a little, the full feeling making him a touch dizzy with lust.

He gave himself a moment to adjust, as well as Barry a moment to calm down. Because if Barry came before he got his fun, he swore to god he would kill the man right then and there. “Look at me,” he breathed, pleased when Barry’s eyes opened and his head moved back up.

Barry’s eyes scanned his body, looking awed. Hartley wasn’t a body builder by any means, but he was fit, and smooth. He took great care in personal maintenance, and from the look on Barry’s face, he seemed to appreciate it. When he was sure he had Barry’s complete attention, he began slowly rolling his hips. Barry groaned, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure and Hartley growled. Barry’s eyes immediately snapped back open and Hartley’s lips twitched upwards.

Barry’s cock inside felt so incredibly good, thick and hot and it hit so deep when he took him all the way in. Hartley was panting softly in a few moments, flushed, with his own eyes fluttering a bit. His hands settled on Barry’s chest, over the rope harness and his overheated skin. Gradually, he increased the pace, a moan leaving him and Barry at the same time, and the sound of it mixed was so fucking perfect…

Barry whined, his hips beginning to jerk, and Hartley growled. “I’m in control here, Allen…” he glared down at him. “Or do I need to remind you?” He squeezed down on Barry and the man gasped, groaning as his hips snapped up. Hartley let out a startled, pitched moan, because the move had caused Barry’s cock to hit his prostate hard enough to send a jolt of white hot pleasure through him. His nails dug into Barry’s chest and he growled.

No, _he_ was in control. Something he apparently needed to remind himself in that moment so his hand shot out, gripping Barry’s throat hard enough to cut off his breath to the point Barry could only wheeze, his eyes watering. “You are _mine_ , you hear me?” he hissed, leaning down to hover over him, his eyes shining with half possession, half desperation.

He moved faster, taking more and more, faster, harder, and Barry’s mouth fell open, the little wheeze of his breath pitched in a whine. When Barry vibrated, Hartley gasped, a full shudder passing through him and he groaned, eyes slamming shut. It was so much better than toys… He’d played with dildos, vibrators, butt plugs… but Barry? _Fuck_ , he was like all of the best things about them wrapped into one and _amplified_.

He saw Barry start to get dizzy from lack of air and released his throat, only to have the man gulp in air before groaning. He vibrated again, and again, and it was pulsating, and it felt so good, Hartley was groaning, shuddering, hips moving fluidly, taking and taking as heat built between them. “Say it,” Hartley said suddenly, almost quietly as he leaned over Barry. “I want to hear you say it.” He tried to hide it, but the smallest hint of desperation seeped through. _Please say you’re mine._

Barry gasped as Hartley broke rhythm, hips jerking as he began to near his own end. He looked up into Hartley’s eyes, and then… neither could look away. A moment of heat, of raw need, and Hartley couldn’t hide it. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t want Barry because he _did_.

“Yours,” the word left Barry’s lips, breathless and genuine, and Hartley’s eyes flew wide.

“W… wha- ahh **fuck**!!” Hartley cried out because right then, Barry dug his heels into the mattress and slammed his hips up, hitting his prostate hard enough to send stars into his vision. “Ahh… ahh fuck, ahh g-god…!” Hartley lost his train of thought completely, because now Barry was fucking him and it felt so good, so fucking good… “Barry, Barry… Nng,” Hartley pressed their foreheads together, his face twisted in pleasure and his eyes squeezed shut.

Barry too was lost in it, hips snapping up as they moved a bit too fast, vibrated a bit too hard. Still, his eyes remained open. Squinted and watering with pleasure, but he couldn’t look away. Hartley couldn’t see, but the look on Barry’s face was something _beyond_ fascination. And he couldn’t hold back anymore. “G… gonna come,” he groaned tightly, fighting to hold back, because he knew he wasn’t allowed to until Hartley said he could.

“M… me too,” Hartley said quietly, already using all his focus not to come. “Now, Barry, come for me,” he said before gasping as Barry’s hips started snapping up hard and fast, the vibration so intense his eyes flew wide and his mouth falling open in a ragged cry as he came _hard_. Honestly, he couldn’t remember _ever_ coming so hard before, it was hot and heavy, and thick and his mind went completely blank, his body rigid as he coated Barry’s stomach and chest with his come.

It was so incredibly foolish, a move he never would have done were his mind not blanked out with a rush of chemicals, but… he knotted his fingers in Barry’s hair and kissed him. After sex was done, and it wasn’t just a kiss of lust, no… there was more to it, and he knew Barry wasn’t stupid enough to miss it. To not notice the need, the desperation, the _longing_.

The kiss slowed as he came down from his high and he pulled back, panting as he barely hovered over Barry, his lips bare centimeters away from Barry’s. Barry looked him over, seeming dazed and just a touch confused, and Hartley swallowed. _You’re such an idiot._ He closed his mouth, teeth clenched ever so slightly as he pulled back, not looking at Barry as he slid off him, both parties shivering as Barry’s spent cock slipped out.

Hartley moved in silence then, removing the condom and tying it off before tossing it. He stood and made his way to the sink, grabbing a soft washcloth and wetting it before returning. He didn’t meet Barry’s eyes as he set it aside for the moment. “You will stay until I tell you to leave,” he said sternly as he undid the rope.

He carefully lowered Barry’s arms, before grabbing the washcloth. He gently and meticulously wiped his chest, belly, and the rest of his front clean, and Barry stayed quiet for a while, before speaking. “What are you doing?” he asked, sounding a touch confused.

Hartley gave him an incredulous look. “Are you really _that_ dumb? It’s called aftercare,” Barry blinked, tilting his head, and Hartley sighed. “I might be a dick, but I wouldn’t let someone subdrop due to my negligence.” He glanced up, seeing the dumb look on his face and Hartley rolled his eyes. “Read about it when you get home, I don’t have the patience to teach you. Just shut up and trust me.” The words left his mouth before he could think better of them and he pursed his lips, mentally scolding himself. “At least… in this.”

“Hartley-“ Barry began before Hartley’s cold gaze snapped up, silencing him. Barry closed his mouth, looking a bit lost, but also unsurprised with Hartley’s unwillingness to talk.

“Turn over, lay on your belly,” he spoke. He was demanding, but his tone wasn’t harsh at least. Barry sighed, before obliging. Hartley tsked, a bit annoyed. “Already practically no marks…” He huffed a sigh, before running the washcloth along his back, gentle especially around the few remaining welts from the riding crop. When that was done, he straddled Barry’s hips, and the man made a startled noise. “Shut up,” he snapped, running his hands along Barry’s back, pressing in and massaging the tense muscles.

Barry groaned, eyes fluttering shut. Hartley kept working, along his back, his shoulders, his neck… “Why are you doing this…?” Barry mumbled, his words slightly slurred with relaxation.

“Already told you; aftercare.” He’d had bad Doms. And good ones. He’d been a sub and a Dom, so he knew both sides. And as much as he hated Flash… he couldn’t do that to _Barry_. He moved, working over Barry’s arms, his hands, his legs, his feet… he even gently massaged along Barry’s jaw muscles, and by the end of it, the speedster was boneless beneath him.

He looked Barry over, debating. He’d been planning on kicking Barry out, but… He sighed, standing. “I’m going to take a shower. Don’t leave until you feel like you can handle it; trust me, you don’t want to push it if you feel like there might even be a chance you’re not okay.” He sauntered off towards the bathroom, leaving Barry Allen behind. By the time he came out wrapped in a towel, Barry Allen was gone. And a part of him knew…

He would have to stop this game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREPARE YOURSELF TO BOARD THE FEELS TRAIN, IT'S A-COMIN'.
> 
> Once again, if you'd like to talk to me, either comment or messaging me on either of my tumblrs; lightninggaveabs or goldeneyeskillerthighs
> 
> I'd love to hear what you guys think! Seriously, comments make my whole day when I get them and encourage me to keep writing. C:


	4. Fucked Around and Got Attached To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I miss you when I can't sleep  
> Or right after coffee  
> Or right when I can't eat  
> I miss you in my front seat  
> Still got sand in my sweaters  
> From nights we don't remember  
> Do you miss me like I miss you?  
> Fucked around and got attached to you  
> Friends can break your heart too, and  
> I'm always tired but never of you" - I Hate U I Love U by Gnash

Hartley knew he was getting in too deep. The night after Barry had left Hartley had lain in bed, finding he wondered what Barry would be like to sleep with. Not fuck, they’d done that, but… but just to sleep next to. Would Barry stay still? Would he curl on his side? Would he be Big Spoon? Would he just wrap himself around Hartley? Or grumble if touched? He was almost asleep, when he realizing he was imaging what it would be like to just be _held_ by the speedster. The fantasy actually comforted him, soothed him to a sense of peace…

When he realized what he was doing he’d shot upright, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, groaning. “Stop it, Hartley! That’s _not_ what this is and you know that,” he growled hatefully, self-loathing spiraling within him.

Hartley decided to distance himself, to force himself to stop thinking of Allen by diving into his work. His implants acting up certainly helped with the distraction… but two weeks later ended up with him a ragged mess, bags under his eyes, a half frown, half scowl settled on his face with a degree of permanency. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten, or the last time he’d slept longer than two hours at a time.

Bitterly, his thoughts turned to blame the speedster for his state. It was his fault he barely slept; every time he laid down, he would start thinking about Allen, the way he looked, tasted… how he’d sounded and submitted to the aftercare… how he’d been gone when Hartley returned. He knew it was foolish, he’d expected it, but something about it… he felt like a one night stand someone snuck out on.

A flare of anger built within him, and he realized, perhaps madly, that the reason he felt that way? Was because he’d let Barry fuck him. Because he’d bottomed… power being in his hands or no, Hartley hadn’t let anyone enter him since his last serious boyfriend, and it had caused some ridiculous _sentiment_ to rise within him. He was disgusted with himself, furious with Barry… but what to do to fix it? To right himself so he could get past this?

For days, nothing came to mind… but when he was in the shower, it clicked. “I have to fuck him,” he breathed, wide eyes staring blankly forward. “I have to be the one to top him, to walk away.” He laughed, the sound as manic as he felt, pressing his forehead against the shower wall. He would fuck him, walk away, and that would be the end of it. He will have marked Barry forever, might even break part of him…

That’s what he'd wanted. He wanted to break Barry Allen, see that light in him die. That had been the whole point of this, right? Right. He stepped out of the shower, making his way, dripping wet to the mirror. He swiped the fog off the mirror, blue eyes locked on his own reflection. Slowly, a wicked grin curled his lips.

**“It’s time to pay the Piper.”**

\-------------------------------

A letter left on Barry’s bed… elegantly written with decorating print in emerald ink.

_You will come to the Riaz Hotel. Room 842. 11pm tonight. Look forward to seeing you, Barry.  
-Pied Piper ♫_

Hartley waited patiently, knowing the man would show. He would show the man more cruelty than he probably believed Hartley capable of. His face was smooth, void of the darkness within. If anything, he looked peaceful. A gentle, hesitant knock at the door, and Hartley rose, going to the door. He opened it, seeing Barry Allen stand there awkwardly, looking uncertain. As the door opened, it revealed Hartley wearing a clover green, silk robe with the initials H.R. stitched in gold thread over the heart.

Barry blinked, seeming surprised to see the man so… _bare_. No signs of his gloves anywhere. Hartley gave him a little smile, holding the door open, stepping aside and gesturing the man to step inside. Barry ducked his head a bit, stepping in and looking around, seeming to look for some kind of trick, or trap.

_If only you knew, Barry_ … Hartley was about to speak, when Barry did. “I, um… was thinking you weren’t going to… visit, anymore.” Barry said, sounding reproachful, shy.

Hartley arched an eyebrow. “And what made you think that?” _Why are you acting like you care? I know you don’t._ His thoughts turned dark and he struggled to keep his face neutral. _You will, though._

Barry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I… I don’t know, you just… the other times weren’t that far apart. It’s been a month.” Hartley was actually surprised by that. Had it been so long?

Hartley shrugged. “I got caught up in a project,” he explained, knowing the scientist would understand… to some level, at least. And it wasn’t exactly a lie; he had been working very hard on a project. The reason behind it, however… was something Barry didn’t need to know. “My implants acted up. Had to fix it.”

“Oh,” Barry said, looking almost relieved to hear that as a reason. “Are they better now?” Hartley had to btie his tongue as he felt… **that** feeling rising up within him. He nodded, giving Barry a little smile as Barry nodded, seeming pleased. Barry swallowed, looking nervous again as he looked Hartley over. “So, um… what did you call me for?”

Hartley arched and eyebrow and Barry blushed, fidgeting a bit under Hartley’s gaze and incredulous smirk. “I think you know, Barry.”

Barry ducked his head, biting his lip, nodding. He did know… or at least, he knew what Hartley wanted him to know. “I… I thought about you,” Barry mumbled, his ears burning. Hartley’s heart leaped up into his throat, a twisting sense of _longing_ making him ache so badly. “A lot, actually.”

_God_ , how he wanted it to be true. He wanted Barry to want him. But no one as good as Barry Allen could ever _really_ want him, and he knew that. He smiled a bit more, the look in his eyes soft. “I thought about you a lot as well, Barry…” he moved forward, and he heard Barry suck in a breath even before his hand moved down the man’s arm, lacing their fingers.

The look on Barry’s face was so open, so helpless in the sweetest of ways… and Hartley _hated_ him for how it made him feel. It was easy to tug the man further into the room, revealing lit candles. Hartley flicked off the light, and the room was bathed in warm light. Barry gaped a little, looking awed, and Hartley chuckled. “Come, Barry.”

Barry followed so easily, and soon they were laid on the bed, kissing softly, slowly. Barry melted under the attention, and Barry’s fingers twitched, obviously wanting to touch. Hartley smiled against his lips, blue eyes full of affection he was furious to note was not entirely false looking into Barry’s. “You can touch me, Barry. This won’t be like the last times, I promise.”

He kissed him again, and Barry melted, his hand finally reaching out to slide up Hartley’s chest, over his shoulder before his fingers brushed a spot on his neck. Hartley realized… that was where Barry had bitten him that first time, and a strange, aching sensation washed over him. To distract himself, he pressed further into the kiss, his fingers moving to tangle in brunette locks, tugging slightly. Barry sighed, and Hartley took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue slipping past Barry’s lips.

The sound Barry made was adorable and Hartley had to resist the urge to growl, to bite and turn the kisses and gentle touches violent, two sides of him arguing. One side screaming **BREAK HIM** , while the other whispered a conspitatory _Patience, it will sweeter if you wait._

Still, Hartley moved, pressed Barry onto his back, hovering over him, never breaking the kiss. He moved slowly, pushing between Barry’s legs, propped on one elbow, his fingers still knotted in brunette locks as his other hand roamed Barry’s side. Slowly, he rolled his hips, grinding against Barry’s still clothed erection.

Barry moaned into the kiss, spreading his legs further and Hartley grinned into the kiss. “You like that, Barry?” he purred, doing it again, pressing more firmly.

The speedster moaned again, face flushing, his fingers gripping Hartley’s robe. “H-Hartley… please,” he tugged at Hartley’s robe and the Piper chuckled.

“We’re in no hurry tonight, Barry. I know you have tomorrow off, and Joe is working an overnight. You’re all mine tonight, and I’m going to take my time,” Barry’s eyes widened, excitement, surprise and lust all shining in his eyes.

A full hour later, and he’d only just gotten Barry out of his sweater and button up. He kissed and nipped all along the skin of his chest, sucking little marks he knew would fade all over Barry until he was squirming, helplessly turned on and panting. “I wanna touch you too,” Barry breathed, surprising Hartley.

Hartley considered a moment. He was also very turned on, the combination of Barry’s responses and the thought of revenge driving him forward. He had planned on taking Barry completely apart… but maybe taking this new level of submission would benefit him. Willing submission, completely of Barry’s own choosing… how bitter that pill would taste later.

“Alright Barry… but nothing above the waist until I say so,” Barry nodded, and eagerness in his eyes. Hartley rolled onto his back and Barry moved quickly, already biting at Hartley’s neck. Hartley hissed, a curl of pleasure making his cock twitch. “Slow down, Barry,” Hartley growled, unable to help himself.

Barry stilled, before kitten licking over the bite in apology. Hartley relaxed, better able to control himself with the slow pace. Anything too fast or hard, and Hartley knew he would abandon his mission. Barry Allen was a dangerous temptation; a beautiful rose with poisoned thorns. Barry moved slower now, nipping and kissing, his fingers pushing open Hartley’s robe, and…

God, the way Barry looked at him, like he was something so awe inspiring… Hartley’s heart ached, and he honest to god felt like crying for a brief moment before the voice within hissed bitterly; _It’s false. It’s all fake. He will realize later the mistake he’s made and he will destroy you if you let him. So..._

**Destroy him first.** Barry touched everywhere he was allowed, tracing every line, every tiny little scar and mole, kissing and licking and… fuck, Hartley knew he was starting to fall again, so he pushed Barry away. Barry looked confused, hurt for a moment, so Hartley forced a smile on his face. “You kept that up, our fun would be over too soon, Barr.”

The affectionate shortening of his name was done on purpose and it had the desired effect. Barry’s eyes widened, a flush crossing his cheeks before he nodded, submitting. “Now I’m going to do something, Barry… and you know I will make you feel good, don’t you?” Barry nodded, and the trust in his eyes…

_**Perfect.**_ The bitter sickness within him curled in glee and he fought off the wicked grin before it rose to the surface. “Take off your pants and underwear, Barry.” Barry scrambled to do just that, obviously about to superspeed when Hartley stopped him with one pointed look. Barry blushed, moving more slowly as he removed the articles.

Hartley reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the bottle of lube and condom. Hartley slicked his fingers and moved between Barry’s legs. His slick fingers moved to brush over Barry’s hole and the man gasped. Hartley could feel the little ring of muscle clench and Hartley shushed him before he could speak. “I showed you tonight I could be good, didn’t I?” He cooed softly, his dry hand running soothingly over Barry’s thigh. Barry nodded, hesitant. “I know it’s a lot to ask… but put a little trust in me?” _And now for the clincher._ “I… understand if you have no faith in someone like me…”

Barry positively _melted_ and Hartley felt a sick satisfaction. “… okay. I… I trust you, Hartley…” Barry spoke quietly, his gaze holding a softness that let Hartley know his plan was working.

“Good boy,” he praised, pleased to see Barry shiver in response. “Kiss me.” He ordered, and Barry moved, brushing their lips together. Hartley leaned into the kiss, deepening it as he pressed the first finger inside. Barry gasped, shuddering and whining and Hartley turned the kiss heated, distracting him as he pressed it deeper.

It worked, and Barry moaned, clinging to him, arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed back. Hartley worked his finger, gentle and patient before pressed a second in. Barry whined, his legs shaking and Hartley nipped at his bottom lip. He pulled back as he crooked his fingers and thrilled at the shocked look on Barry’s face before he arched, crying out in pleasure. “There,” Hartley purred, pleased.

He fucked Barry open with his fingers, adding a third after some time, milking the spot long enough that Barry was whining and writhing, his cock leaking a small pool of precome onto his belly. “H-Hartley! Oh g-god, _please_ ,” he pleaded, desperate as he trembled.

“Mmm, you want me, Barr?” Hartley asked, nipping his neck and scraping his teeth over his ear. The sound Barry made was helpless and needy in all the right ways.

“Yes! Oh, god, yes Hartley, please,” he whined, fingers digging into Hartley’s shoulders.

Hartley let some of the genuine affection he wished he didn’t feel show in his little smile and Barry, who saw it, melted beneath it. “Love it when you beg me so sweetly,” he cooed, pulling his fingers out. Barry hissed, his hole clenching around empty air. He pulled back, grabbing the condom, tearing it open and sliding it one before smearing lube over his length, groaning at the first touch of his neglected cock.

Barry was shaking, looking nervous, so Hartley moved up; kissing him softly once more. “I have you, Barry. I have you.” Barry relaxed before gasping as Hartley pressed in. Hartley grunted, flinching as Barry clenched down. “Breathe, Barry… just breath…”

The speedster did his best, taking shaky breaths, and Hartley pet his side until he loosened up enough to push in further. Barry was bliss; tight heat that gripped so perfectly around his cock. Condom or no, he felt every inch of it as he sank to the hilt. He held, giving Barry a moment. “Tell me when you’re ready,” he spoke, a bit breathless.

Hartley held still, waiting as Barry breathed, petting along his side and pressing gentle kisses all along his neck. _This_ was how Hartley wanted to have sex. How he’d always wanted to have sex… go figure when he finally got it, his motivations were so impure. It dirtied the moment and Hartley hid his pained scowl in Barry’s neck. Why had no one ever cared enough about him to treat _him_ this way? To hold and soothe him, kiss away his fears… He knew why, of course; he was _disgusting_. No one could love him. **You don’t have a heart to fall in love with,** his mind supplied.

“R-ready,” Barry stuttered, pulling Hartley out of his dark thoughts. He kissed Barry’s neck and gave a tentative roll of his hips. Barry squirmed a bit, but no complaints were heard. He pulled back and pressed forward slowly, and Barry took a shuddering breath. “I’m… I’m okay,” he spoke softly, giving a little roll of his own hips.

Hartley pulled back, looking at Barry. “I won’t hurt you, Barry. I promise.” _Lies._ Barry relaxed, and Hartley kissed him, slowly beginning to thrust. Slow, deep… all in before pulling out nearly to the tip. Soon Barry was moaning, wrapping his legs around him, his fingers knotting in Hartley’s hair as they kissed.

Hartley pressed a bit harder, moved a bit faster and Barry shuddered. It was a slow burn; Hartley taking his time… but soon they were moving fast, hitting deep, hard… Hartley moaned and Barry gasped, nails biting into his shoulder. “Oh god, fuck, Hartley!” Barry cried out, arching as he hit that sweet spot.

“That’s right Barr, that’s a good boy… you’re taking me so well, feel so good… such a good boy for me,” he praised, biting over Barry’s neck a little more roughly, gripping his leg behind his knee, pushing it up. The new angle made him hit deeper and Barry cried out, head thrown back in pleasure.

“Hartley, Hartley, ohhh god, _Hartley!!_ ” Barry cried out as Hartley pressed low, making sure his belly pressed against Barry, giving his cock much needed friction. A vibration passed through Barry then, and Hartley could tell from how his face twisted in pleasure, he didn’t have long.

Which was fine, because Hartley wasn’t far behind; his own orgasm impending. “Look at me, Barry,” Hartley ordered, and Barry opened his eyes, his face still twisted in such pleasure, sweat dripping from his hairline. Barry had arrived hours ago by this point, and Hartley himself knew he was a mess; hair damp with sweat, skin flushed, pleasure glazed eyes intent on Barry’s. He saw fondness, openness, and trust... and he knew he had him.

“Hartley, please, I’m g-gonna…!” Barry whined, writhing, hips jerking, and Hartley leaned in close.

He hovered, whispering hotly in Barry’s ear one command; “Come for me, Barry.” Barry arched, crying out loudly as he came between them, and Hartley growled, dropping all sweet pretense, biting Barry roughly, fucking him ruthlessly as he gripped him in a bruising hold. Barry gasped, obviously in pain, whimpering as Hartley slammed deep, coming hard with a groan, teeth biting so hard he nearly drew blood.

When he was done he pushed off, shoving Barry away. The taller man gasped, crying out in pain, shuddering as his orgasm trembled through him, pleasure at war with the pain rather than mixing. “H-Hartley?” Barry said, sounding confused and maybe a touch scared. Hartley stood, pushing a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He moved quietly, removing the condom and tossing it, wiping himself clean before pulling on his clothes. Barry watched, looking worried. “Hartley, what are you…?”

Hartley didn’t speak until he was already pulling on his clothes. “What? I **got** what I sent you for,” he said coldly.

Barry’s face fell, before his brow furrowed, shaking his head. “N-no, you don’t mean that, you-“

Hartley barked a laugh. “What, you thought I _cared?_ ” He sneered. “You are _nothing_ to be, Barry Allen. You’re not even that good of a fuck,” he snorted, rolling his eyes, a thrill going through him as Barry flinched, pain in his eyes and disbelief. “And this? I’m bored now. Game. Over.” He looked at him coldly, pulling on his coat, the hood pulled up. “Don’t mess in my affairs again; remember what I know, _Flash._ ” He hissed the speedsters hero title, his face completely cold.

The look on Barry’s face was completely shattered, and Hartley saw actual tears rising in his eyes. Bitter satisfaction was not the only thing he felt… in fact, it wasn’t even _most_ of what he felt. He felt regret, self-loathing, and the ridiculous instinct to reach out, to make it better, to hold Barry and tell him that he really, actually _lo-_

He shoved the thought away violently. He looked him over once more, disgust on his face before he turned and left, the choked, half sobbed ‘ _no…!_ ’ the only thing that followed him as he left. _It’s for the best. You know he would never love you. You were getting too attached and you know this was the only way to protect yourself._

**Hartley Rathaway had never felt so disgusted with himself.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to interact with me or talk about the fic, either comment here or talk to me on my tumblr blogs! goldeneyeskillerthighs(A Gabriel RP blog for SPN) or lightninggaveabs(A Barry Allen RP blog)
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!! C:


	5. You Want Her, You Need Her... And I'll Never Be Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All alone I watch you watch her  
> Like she's the only girl you've ever seen  
> You don't care you never did  
> You don't give a damn about me  
> Yeah all alone I watch you watch her  
> She's the only thing you've ever seen  
> How is it you never notice  
> That you are slowly killing me
> 
> I hate you I love you  
> I hate that I love you  
> Don't want to, but I can't put  
> Nobody else above you  
> I hate you I love you  
> I hate that I want you  
> You want her, you need her  
> And I'll never be her" - I Hate U I Love U by Gnash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER!! Hope you guys have liked this story so far, I had a lot of fun writing it. Thank you so much for all the comments left, all the kudos... it really encourages me and all the support helped push me through this and gave me inspiration to keep going.
> 
> So... THANK YOU ALL!!
> 
> Starting this chapter off from Barry's POV as a review of his thoughts on what has happened so far, hehe.

The first kiss had shocked the hell out of Barry. He hadn’t expected the shorter man to do it, but that’s not what _really_ knocked him for a loop. It was the wave of intense desire, the need he realized belatedly he’d probably felt itching beneath the surface for a long time. Hartley pissed him off; he was cocky, bitter, hateful… but his reasons behind it always made Barry feel conflicted. What would he have done, if he’d been raised in Hartley’s shoes? He wanted to think he would be better, but he grew up with powerfully good role models…

 

Beyond that, Hartley was _incredibly_ attractive. Barry had noticed the almost surreal shade of blue his eyes were in that first fight, when he’d held Hartley up by his collar, pulling him close as the smaller man hissed and spit at him like an angry cat. The anger and challenge in his eyes had made them practically simmer, and it was an image he’d never quite been able to purge. One he’d woken up from dreams of, confusedly aroused and awkward.

 

He’d pushed it aside as stress induced; his lack of any real sexual release combined with his sense of duty for the city, but… but the moment those lips crashed against his, that idea had shattered. Barry tried to fight it at first, but Hartley gave him no out, and something in Barry had snapped. _Fuck it_ , he’d thought to himself, pulling Hartley closer, kissing him back with the same ferocity.

 

He never thought he’d be one for hate-fucking, but god… Hartley _undid_ him. It had been wild and heated, and Barry’s mind had just shut off. Hartley let him, not dragging him to reality, and he could tell from the way Hartley had gasped that Barry’s reaction had surprised more than just himself.

 

It was thrilling in a terrible way, and by the end of it, Barry was spent. He’d slumped, and when Hartley drew come covered fingers across his cheek… Barry shivered, still remembering how completely _marked_ he’d felt. The fact Hartley knew his name scared the hell out of him, and as he cleaned himself up, he began to panic.

 

All week, he spent _almost_ telling his team, Joe, Iris… but what would he tell them? _Another_ bad guy knew his identity? Snart was bad enough, but he was at least _reasonable_. Snart was motivated by the game of it, by money and challenge. Hartley… his motivations were _dark_ and Barry knew nothing good would come of this.

 

It had been another night of toying with his phone, debating with himself who to tell, if anyone… when Hartley had shown himself again. Barry turned sharply, ready to fight, and Hartley had put him in his place, stripping him of any control he might have had over the situation… and then made him get on his knees.

 

Barry was terrified; he’d never done anything like it before, and shame had filled him, burning his cheeks and making him cringe as Hartley had laughed at him for it. He wanted to bury himself alive rather than face Hartley again, but the man had forced him to look, to give in. He’d promised to guide him, and…

 

He _had_. Beyond that, he’d been- while not exactly _gentle_ \- not unkind. He’d been patient with Barry, even as he teased him. When his boot had pressed against Barry’s clothed cock, Barry had been shocked to realize he was actually _really_ turned on by the situation. He was so embarrassed, whining and wishing he could hide away, but Hartley gave him no reprieve.

 

As Hartley gripped his hair and forced him down, forced him to take more, deeper, and at Hartley’s own desired pace, Barry had vibrated with excitement, completely turned on by the display of power in a way that left him shocked and confused. Hartley came across his face, and Barry shuddered, that strangely satisfying, almost _relieving_ feeling of being marked washing over him again. In the time it took for Hartley’s heart to beat 13 times, Hartley had shoved Barry back.

 

Barry never expected Hartley’s mouth on him and the way he sucked was- was like Hartley wanted to devour him, and Barry was helpless against it. He’d come in Hartley’s mouth, whimpering as the man worked him through it… Hartley moved up, and Barry was too stunned to even think of resisting as Hartley shoved his come covered tongue in Barry’s mouth. Barry gave in, even moaning at the taste of himself mixing with Hartley…

 

Hartley pulled back, a wicked grin on his face, and the stunned Barry… his eyes trailed to Hartley’s cheek, seeing some of the come he’d left on Barry’s face had smudged off on him. He had no idea what came over him, but this powerful compulsion took over, and Barry licked the come off, showing Hartley before swallowing.

 

It felt blissfully submissive, and as Hartley pet his hair and called him good boy… Barry melted, a haze of pleasure and powerlessness washing over him as he sighed, leaning into the touch despite everything. He knew this wasn’t good… that this shouldn’t feel good, not with Hartley, but…

 

He couldn’t help it.

 

Hartley stood, righting his clothes and looking down at him with a wicked expression as he promised more, and Barry didn’t know what he felt. Part of him dreaded it, part of him hated Hartley, but another part… a flicker; of _want_.

 

The next time, it had been just a normal day. Barry had ducked down an alley, using the shortcut he used every day… he didn’t remember being knocked out, but waking up… For a brief moment, he’d been completely terrified; he was trussed up like a damn sacrifice, and after some of the things he’d been hearing about from Gotham and Star City, his first thought had not been a good one.

 

So when Hartley showed up, he couldn’t help the wash of relief. _Oh, it’s just Hartley_ … being kidnapped and tied up by Hartley Rathaway should not, however, come as a relief, so he glared, looking at Hartley as he tried to figure out just what the hell was going on.

 

Hartley’s hand running along his skin should not feel so good, and he squirmed, trying to get away, especially as Hartley roughly grabbed his jaw. Hartley squeezed his jaw until his eyes watered with pain, hissing breath between his clenched teeth. He talked about a side to Barry the speedster had been denying, and Barry denied it, but a part of him knew…

 

Knew he’d been found out. It was something he himself wasn’t ready to deal with, he didn’t want Hartley pointing it out. He was mocked, before being laughed at and his face shoved away before being released. At the declaration Hartley wouldn’t be nice this time, Barry’s eyes widened, a pit forming in his belly. Last time he’d been humiliated, what the hell was Hartley planning this time…? He tried to convince the man not to do whatever it was he was planning and Hartley laughed, his tone condescending as he denied him.

 

True, appealing to Hartley’s better nature hadn’t merited much in the past… Fingers carded in his hair before yanking his head back and Barry gasped as a curl of undeniable arousal went through him. Hartley leaned close and as he growled the words _you’re mine_ in Barry’s ear, the speedster shivered, his breath turning a little shaky. He was terrified, but beyond that…

 

But no, he didn’t belong to anyone, something he was about to say before Hartley yanked his hair again, pulling an unbidden moan from his lips instead. He was told he would be begging by the end and Barry vehemently denied it, stubbornness and pride in his eyes. Hartley’s finger along his cock made him suck in a sharp breath, closing his mouth and biting his tongue not to make a noise. It was bad enough he couldn’t hide his erection like this, he didn’t need the man to _hear_ him react.

 

Barry denied it, he would deny it to no end, would scream it if he had to… something Hartley seemed to realize as he looked at him with annoyance and disapproval. The sight of the ballgag sent a thrill of anxiety through him, and Barry panicked, already shaking his head and pleading with Hartley not to do it, and the man laughed. Barry tried to fight, but Hartley was ruthless and so were the ropes pinning him in place, redistricting most of his movements.

 

It was buckled into place and Barry growled and tried to spit insults, but only vague angry noises left him, his words caught in the gag between his lips and teeth, his jaw forced wide. At the mention of something he’d made especially for the occasion, Barry’s eyes widened. _Oh god, what **now**_? he’d thought, already overwhelmed.

 

The headboard literally _rotated_ , and with help from Hartley, he was soon on his knees, his face barely hovered over the pillow. His eyes were wide, and he tried to turn his head, to see something, _anything_ \- but the angle was too strange, so he let his head slump. Struggling did nothing, and he wasn’t strong enough to break the bars, or snap the rope. He also couldn’t build up enough momentum to phase- he was completely trapped.

 

As Hartley began his work, Barry squirmed and hissed, light scratched broken up with deep ones that he knew were he not a speedster would leave angry marks for days, if not a week. He felt it build up, this tension, this anticipation… he tried to guess, to notice a pattern… but it was never consistent. It left him panting, and Barry realized at some point, he’d started drooling uncontrollably.

 

The gag made it so he couldn’t properly swallow, and he suddenly realized _why_ he’d been flipped. Still, it was embarrassing, and he whined, wanting the gag out, wanting to swallow and wipe the bit that had slid down his chin away… he was so completely controlled, so helpless… he couldn’t even stop himself drooling. Something about it made him feel hazy and shaky, his body trembling slightly…

 

And it was right about then the first blow of the riding crop landed. Barry yelped, jerking. It didn’t exactly _hurt_ … it was more of a sharp sensation followed by a tingling after feeling… but every time, he tried to brace for it. Hearing Hartley had been in a position like this was surprising, and difficult to imagine. He tried picturing the man bound and taking hits, and he just couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine the man giving himself over like that.

 

Tension mounted, and he gasped and jerked and writhed… but eventually, the fog in his mind grew, and he gave in, accepting what was given. It was in that moment he realized how ridiculously hard he was; precome dripping from the tip of his cock onto the sheets below, sliding down his shaft. He was shaking, panting… flushed and incredibly aroused. He had never felt anything like this, and he found with each new strike, the feeling grew and grew until his body was thrumming, his mind completely numbed; unable to process anything beyond what he felt. And what he felt was _good_. He was trembling, shaking and twitching, and the blows stopped coming.

 

Barry didn’t react until the touch of a hand on his back, a whimper pulled from him as with every mark the man passed over, a painful sensation went through him. The hand kept going though, up his back, between his shoulder blades, up his neck… fingers tangled into his hair and pulled Barry’s head up and Barry went, completely limp. He stared blankly ahead, too lost in the headspace Hartley had pushed him into to care to look over. Hartley’s question whispered into his ear, the words _good boy_ holding an even more powerful reaction over him. He whined, small and weak, the pleading in it incredibly thick. The buckle for the gag was undone, and Barry panted as it was removed, a wash of drool leaving his mouth before he could hope to stop it. Instead of trying, he panted, his eyes hooded, his lips parted and swollen…

 

Hartley praised him, carding his fingers through Barry’s hair and Barry wasn’t even aware of the helpless noise that left him, leaning weakly into the hand. Barry was turned again, and even with Hartley’s help, he hissed as he lay back on his sore back. Hartley cooed him, and Barry relaxed completely, letting himself go limp, his head falling back.

 

The sight of a blindfold made him whimper, he’d already been through so much, but… he trusted Hartley, and didn’t fight it. The blindfold fell into place, and Hartley cooed praises, carding his fingers through Barry’s hair. Barry slumped, sighing softly, eyes closing behind the blindfold. Barry gasped gently in surprise as he felt gentle lips brush over his in a soft kiss… but it didn’t last long. Just long enough for Barry to wonder if… if maybe this could be more.

 

Harltey sucked him, licked and kissed along his cock, and Barry was back to moaning and writhing, gasping and whining… it felt so amazing, and he kept getting close, only to have Hartley pull away. It left him trembling, desperate and needy. Hartley was panting too, a little moan leaving him every now and then, and Barry wondered what he was doing.

 

Hartley spoke, telling him he would undo his bounds, asking if he would behave, and Barry nodded, agreeing. When prompted for more, he immediately understood, his face flushing. “Y-yes _sir_ ,” Barry added quietly, his heart racing, a thrill going through him. “I’ll be a good boy.”

 

Hartley purred a praise, and pet along his legs a moment before Barry felt him tug the rope loose. Coil after coil released more and more and blood rushed back into his limbs, making them twitch and tingle in an almost painful way. Barry made a little noise with his discomfort and he was hushed gently, Hartley stretching out his legs and rubbing them until the pain ebbed away and Barry relaxed once more.

 

The blindfold was removed and Barry blinked slowly into the light, his bleary gaze focusing slowly on Hartley’s face. Hartley seemed pleased with what he saw, and Barry nodded a bit disjointedly, still overwhelmed and not in complete control of his body any longer. Barry saw the condom, and his eyes widened as they locked with Hartley’s as he tore it open with his teeth. Was Hartley going to fuck him? Anxiety crept up within him, and he pleaded slightly, trying to hint that he wasn’t ready, but… Hartley put the condom on _Barry_ and the speedster gasped. _What was he doing?!_

 

Hartley stroked lube over his cock and Barry groaned, eyes fluttering as pleasure coursed through him. Hartley moved to straddle him and when Barry saw lube glistening off Hartley’s thighs, his eyes shot wide open in shock, disbelief written on his face. The look Hartley gave him was smug and condescending as he mocked Barry, saying he couldn’t handle him.

 

Barry didn’t have a chance to respond as Hartley sank down onto him, hissing slightly. Barry groaned, his eyes rolling back in pleasure and his arms flexing against the bounds, his body wanting nothing more than to grip down on those hips. Hartley hissed and order not to come and Barry inwardly cursed because honestly? That was going to be difficult with the way Hartley’s tight heat felt around his virgin cock. Hartley settled, fully seated on Barry and they both panted, breathless and dizzy with the grip and the stretch.

 

Barry had never imagined being inside someone would feel this amazing. He’d always been too shy, too nervous to go the next step, to make his move… but _fuck_ this felt incredible. He breathed, and when he was ordered to look at Hartley, he opened his eyes and looked at Hartley… all over Hartley. Hartley was absolutely stunning. He was surprisingly tone; but not overly muscles. He was thin- though not as thin as Barry- and small and yet held a softness about his form that made Barry ache to touch and kiss and lick everywhere he could.

 

When Hartley started moving, slow rolls of his hips, Barry groaned, the friction and heat making the flame of arousal build higher within. Barry’s eyes fluttered shut and Hartley growled. Barry immediately snapped them back open, not wanting to upset the man, to have him stop. Hartley kept going, speeding him a bit, and they both moaned, the sound of Hartley moaning beautiful in a way that surprised Barry.

 

Soon though, Barry was beginning to lose his self-control, his hips twitching with the need to thrust up, to take more, deeper, harder… Hartley growled, proclaiming his control and as he squeezed down on Barry, a shock of pleasure went through the speedster, his hips snapping up of their own accord, driving in deep and fast. The sound that left Hartley… startled and pitched sent a thrill through Barry before nails dug sharply into his skin, another, angrier growl leaving Hartley.

 

Hartley’s hand shot out, gripping tightly around his throat until Barry was barely able to wheeze his breath, his eyes watering. And yet… it must be something about the head space Hartley had put him in, but he didn’t fight it, didn’t feel scared. He just submitted, stilling his hips. Hartley leaned down and hissed his ownership, the words _you’re mine_ echoing in Barry’s head as his wet green eyes met intense, possessive blues.

 

Hartley sped up, taking him harder and faster, more and more, and Barry let out a wheeze, choked whine. A vibration ran through him, and apparently Hartley liked that, because he shuddered and groaned, tightening around Barry as his eyes slammed shut. Barry started to get dizzy, his head swimming from lack of air and Hartley released his throat, letting Barry gulp in air before groaning, his vibrations coming in waves, pulsating, and he watched, thrilled by the sight of Hartley moaning and shuddering, enjoying every little pulse.

 

 _Say it_ , the demand came, and Barry was shocked to hear the desperation in his tone, the need… there was something almost fragile in Hartley’s eyes, and Barry opened his mouth to respond before gasping as Hartley broke rhythm. “Yours,” Barry conceded, breathless… and he knew then… that he meant it. The look of shock on Hartley’s face broke Barry’s heart and made it swell at the same time, and he just wanted to hold Hartley, a strange compulsion he knew he shouldn’t feel.

 

But he could do something else.  He dug his heels in just as Hartley began to speak and slammed his hips up, taking Hartley now. The man cried out, cursing loudly. Hartley let out a litany of curses and gasps and moaned versions of the speedster’s name as Barry fucked him. He moved to press their foreheads together, the smaller man’s face twisted in pleasure and his eyes closed tightly…

 

And Barry couldn’t look away. Lost though he was in pleasure, Hartley was _fascinating_ , a sight like he’d never before seen and certainly never expected to see… at least not from this man. It ended in a rush of heat and friction and powerful vibration as Hartley gave him the order to come, and Barry cried out almost as loudly as Hartley, straining against his bounds as he fucked Hartley hard and fast until they were both spent.

 

Barry lay there panting, breathless and blissed out on an endorphin high, when Hartley tangled his fingers in Barry’s hair and… and _kissed him_. Not like they had before, all aggression and fury or claiming, but… this was desperate, longing, needy… Barry felt so much in that kiss, so much more than he thought the smaller man felt… it was overwhelming, and the kiss slowed to a stop. Hartley pulled back to just barely hover over him, their breaths mingling in the bare centimeters between them. Barry opened his eyes, casting the azure eyed man a confused, dazed look. He saw the light die a bit in Hartley’s eyes, could practically see the walls being put back in place before Hartley pushed off, sliding off Barry’s cock and stepping aside.

 

Barry was at a loss, so he just… waited. Hartley left, and returned soon after, still quiet. What came next, was… strange. Hartley untied him, lowering his arms slowly as they twitched and ached, the blood returning to them. Hartley wiped him down with a cloth, and Barry stayed quiet, laying in his confusion before finally asking what he was doing.

 

Aftercare… was not a term he was familiar with. However, he was smart enough to put it together, to a certain level at least. Subdrop was also not one he was familiar with, and he made a mental note to look it up. The word trust was not one that should be suggested between them, and as soon as it left his lips, Hartley seemed to regret it, back tracking a bit.

 

Barry went to speak, wanting to clarify what this was, but Hartley’s cold gaze silenced him. He still felt so lost, but it was obvious and unsurprising that Hartley was unwilling to talk about it. Barry couldn’t help but wonder if he was possibly just as confused as Barry was. Barry was ordered to lay on his belly and he obliged with a sigh and nothing more. Hartley was annoyed by the marks fading, a sentiment Barry could actually understand. He kinda missed some of his scars… a lot of them held memories he never wanted to forget, and he missed being able to run his fingers along them and just _remember_.

 

Hartley washed his back and Barry hissed a bit, before Hartley gentled around the few remaining welts. He hadn’t thought Hartley capable of such a gentle touch, and it calmed something inside of him. When that was done, Hartley straddled him and Barry made a startled noise, his eyes widening. Was he about to be fucked? Hartley snapped at him to shut up and when soft hands began to rub at his tense muscles… Barry groaned in relief. More and more, Hartley massaged his every muscle until his entire body was boneless.

 

When asked, Hartley refused to clarify why, simply repeating; _aftercare_ as his only reason. Hartley left to take a shower, and… Barry laid there for a while, before deciding he should really take the time to think about this himself. He found his clothes folded neatly on a chair beside the bed.

 

For the first few days, he felt panicked, confused… he was a mess of emotions, and it made his actions as both CSI and the Flash messy. He’d been scolded, and forced to take a few days off to clear his head. But what was _in_ his head just wouldn’t get out. He’d tried vaguely talking to Iris about it…

 

“Barry, don’t you get it? You _like_ them!” She’d smiled, thrilled at the idea, but she just… couldn’t understand, not without him giving away far too much information. But… the more time he spent thinking about it, the more he realized…

 

He _did_ like Hartley. A lot. And maybe it was sick and wrong, and had started off as hateful lust, but… that last time, the way Hartley treated him, the desperation and fragility he’d seen flashes of… his heart ached to see them again, to just… hold Hartley and tell him he wasn’t as alone as he thought he had to be. Still, time wore on, and Barry grew more and more anxious. Was Hartley done? Did he not want anything more from Barry?

 

The day he found a letter on his bed was the first time he’d smiled so brightly in over a month. Excitement filled him, before hesitation. He’d signed the card _Piper_ … did that mean he was distancing himself? He decided not to read too much into it, memorizing he details of the short letter before tucking it into his journal, a blush on his face.

 

He hated waiting all day, but he knew- control freak that he was- that Hartley wouldn’t want him showing up early. So, he spent a lot of time tapping his foot at Jitters, staring out the window and wondering if they were _finally_ going to talk about what it was that was going on between them. He hoped so.

 

The hotel was huge, elegant… and _very_ expensive. Just walking around, he felt so awkward. The elevator was literally _gold_ for godsake… but more than that, he felt nervousness creeping up inside of him. What if Hartley didn’t feel that way about him? Barry knew more than a little about one-sided feelings… he’d been pinning for Iris for longer than he could really remember. Of course, he still loved her, but… someone new and unexpected had come barreling violently into his heart.

 

… Someone who looked absolutely _stunning_ in a green silk robe. Barry gaped a bit at the sight, not just because Hartley was gorgeous, but because he was weaponless, no guards up at all… He seemed so loose this time, more open… Barry stepped in, looking around for some sort of catch; a trap or trick… He saw none, and something told him this night would be different, so he decided to be a little open, admitting he hadn’t thought Hartley was interested anymore.

 

Hartley asked for an explanation for his thoughts, and Barry shyly admitted Hartley had been MIA for a month now, when before their encounters were… far _closer_ together. The explanation of a project made him curious, but at the mention of his implants, Barry felt a wash of relief, understanding in his eyes. He knew how the implants helped, though he didn’t understand their composition. He asked if they were better, and Hartley gave him a little smile. They both nodded, Hartley in agreement, Barry with relief. Still… the issue of why he’d been called came up, and Hartley arched an incredulous eyebrow, looking at Barry like he might be slow as a smirk curled his lips. Barry blushed, fidgeting in a shy way because he _did_ know. He just… had hoped to talk more.

 

Barry ducked his head, biting his lip before admitting to Hartley he’d been thinking about him, hoping to open the door for mutual admittance. Something- _anything_ \- to let him know he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Barry peeked up in time to see a soft look in Hartley’s eyes, a little smile. The man admitted to thinking about him too and Barry’s heart skipped a beat. Hartley moved closer, his hand trailing down Barry’s arm before lacing their fingers together. The move had Barry looking at Hartley with a kind of openness, a hope in his eyes that this could be more, and Hartley tugged him along, flicking the light off. The room was bathed in warm light from dozens of lit candles and Barry gasped softly, awed at the sight.

 

Hartley chuckled, and bid him towards the plush looking bed. They ended up kissing, but this time it was soft, and slow… Barry didn’t know what to do with it, and his fingers twitched with the need to touch as well, but too scared to make that move. He felt a smile against his lips and Hartley met Barry’s gaze, his own cobalt eyes shining with affection in the warm light. Barry’s heart skipped a beat as he promised it wouldn’t be like the last times before kissing him again, and Barry let himself give in to the moment, his hands finally reaching out to touch.

 

His hand smoothed up along Hartley’s chest, over his shoulder… the silk fabric felt wonderful beneath his skin, but he wanted to touch Hartley’s skin. He remembered the sight of the bite mark he’d left on Hartley and his fingers found their way to that spot, tracing over it. Fingers tangled in his hair and as they tugged, Barry sighed, submitting to the deepening of the kiss, his tongue meeting Hartley’s in a slow dance that had his arousal simmering, spreading all throughout his body. A helpless little sound left him, his fingers gripping the robe as Hartley pushed him onto his back.

 

Settled between his legs, fingers of one hand knotted in his hair as the other roamed his side… Hartley rolled his hips, grinding against the clothed erection Hartley was sporting and Barry moaned, spreading his legs further. Hartley seemed pleased, asking if he liked it and repeating the motion and Barry moaned again, unable to help himself because the friction was _so good_.

 

He tried pleading, tugging at Hartley’s robe, but the man just chuckled, seeming to possess a wealth of patient Barry would probably never manage. The thought of doing this all night long… and having Hartley say the words _you’re mine tonight_ sent a thrill through him, so Barry gave in, not rushing things. However…

 

An hour later, and only Barry’s top have was naked. He was straining in his pants, panting and squirming as Hartley kissed and licked and nipped all along his chest, leaving little sucked marks along his skin Barry was sad to know wouldn’t last long. Barry pleaded to be allowed to touch Hartley too, and Hartley took a moment before consenting, laying back.

 

The foreplay had already been so long, Barry couldn’t help himself as he shot forward, sinking his teeth into Hartley’s neck. Hartley hissed and growled at him to slow down and Barry stilled completely. He tentatively licked over the spot, a wordless apology before moving on as soon as he felt Hartley relax again.  Barry moved slower then; mimicking Hartley’s pace from earlier as he kissed and nipped along Hartley’s skin, pushing the robe open to expose more to play with and explore.

 

Barry moved back to look at him and he was breathless. Hartley was so beautiful, his skin flushed against a pale, creamy backdrop, little red marks from where he’d nipped already… and Barry dove back in, worshipping every bit of him he was allowed to; memorizing every dip and curve, every line of muscle and small scar and mole… Hartley’s breath was coming faster, his cock hard, and now in plain view… God, Barry wanted to suck him again…

 

Barry was pushed away and he looked up, confused and a touch hurt, before hearing Hartley’s explanation. The use of his nickname made his eyes widened, his cheeks flush with color, and his heart skip a beat. _He does like me… at least a little bit._ Barry was asked if he believed Hartley would make him feel good, and he nodded. Hartley _always_ made him feel good… even when he knew it should have felt _bad_.

 

When he was told to take off his pants and underwear, Barry scrambled to oblige, a pointed look stopping him from using superspeed like he wanted to. When Hartley’s slick fingers brushed his hole, Barry gasped, a flicker of something not quite fear went through him and he clenched down without a thought. He opened his mouth to speak and Hartley shushed him. When asked to put trust in him… and the way Hartley looked at him, sadness in his eyes like he knew Barry couldn’t because of who he was…

 

Barry’s heart ached for the man and he melted, giving in. “I trust you, Hartley…” the words left his mouth, his expression soft. Hartley praised him, the words _good boy_ filling him with what he now viewed as good memories, despite their origins and Barry shivered. The order came to kiss him and Barry was happy to oblige. Hartley quickly took over it, pressing into it as his finger breached him and Barry gasped, shivering and whining until Hartley turned the kiss more heated, demanding his attention focus on their mouths.

 

Barry fell into the kiss, finding it easy to let himself be distracted as he wrapped his arms around Hartley’s neck, returning the kiss. A second finger pressed in and Barry whined at the slight burn of the stretch. Hartley nipped at his bottom lip before pulling back, and when the fingers inside crooked- Barry gasped in shock before arching and crying out as pleasure shot through him, intense and electric, and Hartley purred, pleased with his reaction.

 

Hartley worked him open, teasing that spot inside with every push and pull, every bit of stretch. A third pressed in, and Barry didn’t even mind the stretch, his body eagerly accepting the intrusion because it felt _so good_. Barry was helpless; writhing and whining, his cock leaking an embarrassing amount of precome onto his belly, Hartley seeming to know when to let up just as Barry skirted the edge of bliss. Barry pleaded, already so close…

 

As Hartley scraped his teeth along Barry’s ear, the speedster lost all modicum of pride, openly begging the man as his fingers dug into his shoulders. Hartley’s smile was so genuine, so affectionate… Barry melted, practically mewling beneath the gaze. Fingers pulled out and Barry hissed, his hole twitching around the sudden emptiness as his body ached for more.

 

He watched as Hartley opened the condom and slipped it on, smearing lube over it…. Barry was trembling from arousal, but his heart was also hammering in his chest, his stomach in his throat with nervousness. His last true virginity… and he was about to lose it. Hartley kissed him softly, promising he had him before pressing in and Barry froze, clenching out of sheer reaction. Hartley grunted and flinched, telling him to breathe, and Barry tried to.

 

He focused on breathing, trying to calm his racing thoughts and heartbeat, and Hartley held, petting his side until he relaxed enough to push in deeper. Every inch was an intense stretch that left him breathless, and when Hartley was fully seated… He stopped. He held there, giving Barry a moment of reprieve to allow him the chance to adjust. Hartley kissed along his neck, petting along his side…

 

And Barry soothed, comforted. He told Hartley he was ready, and Hartley kissed his neck once more before giving a small roll of his hips. Barry squirmed a bit, but it didn’t hurt as badly as he thought it might. It just felt… _strange_. Hartley moved deeper, but was slow, and Barry took a shuddering breath at the drag of the cock within him. He tried to say he was okay, roll his hips of his own accord… When Hartley looked at him again, promising not to hurt him…

 

Barry believed him. He gave in, relaxing and soon they were kissing again. Hartley began moving, keeping the pace agonizingly slow, _deep_ , working every inch of him Hartley could. Barry moaned, wrapping his legs around him, wanting more, faster… but trusting Hartley to make him feel good. This was so intimate, intimate in a way he’d never been with _anyone_ , much less Hartley. Barry tangled his fingers in Hartley’s hair as they kissed, losing himself in the moment. The feelings he’d been denying that had grown between them were coming to the surface, and every gentle touch was making him ache for the man in a way he’d never felt with anyone before. It had been similar with Iris, but this… this was on an entirely new level.

 

Hartley slowly sped up, pressing harder, and Barry shuddered with it as it stoked the fire within. But soon it was so much more, building up in speed as he took Barry hard and deep, and Hartley was moaning as Barry gasped, his nails biting into the man’s shoulder as he cried out the man’s name on his lips, arching as he slammed into that sweet spot. Hartley let out a litany of praises before biting him and pushing his leg up. The new angle sent sparks behind his eyes and Barry threw his head back in pleasure.

 

Hartley’s name on his lips, he cried out again and again, and Hartley pressed low, his belly rubbing against Barry’s neglected cock… A vibration ran through Barry then, and Barry knew he wouldn’t last long. The buildup had been so long, Hartley had taken his time to take Barry apart, and now he was helpless with it. Hartley told him to look at him, and Barry did, his face twisted in pleasure. Hartley was about as much of a mess as he was, but Hartley looked _beautiful_ with it. Barry knew his emotions shown in his face, the ones he could no longer deny; trust, fondness, longing… he _wanted_ Hartley.

 

Finally, he couldn’t take it, couldn’t skirt that edge any longer, he whined, hips jerking and writhing beneath Hartley as he begged, and Hartley leaned in close. The order to come was a huge relief and Barry arched, crying out as he came hard, a powerful wave of pleasure overwhelming him before he gasped as teeth sank roughly into his neck, his hands flying to grip him tightly enough to bruise as he fucked him ruthlessly, a whimper leaving the speedster as his pleasure was hedged by pain.

 

The bite on his neck send sparks of pain through him, shocking his system as Hartley pressed deep, groaning as he obviously came… When he was done, Hartley shoved off, pushing Barry away roughly, and Barry gasped, crying out in pain as Hartley pulled out with less than no gentleness. “H-Hartley?” Barry asked, his expression confused, hurt, and a touch… _scared_. The man moved about, cleaning himself and disposing of the condom, completely silent as he pulled on his clothes. “Hartley, what are you…?”

 

Hartley didn’t speak until he was already mostly clothed. _What? I **got** what I sent you for,_ he said, and his cold tone made Barry’s face fall. Did Hartley really…? But no, it couldn’t be, because Hartley had said- Hartley looked at him like- Barry was cut off by a barked laugh and a sneer. _You are **nothing** to me, Barry Allen. You’re not even that good of a fuck, and this? I’m bored now. Game. Over._ Barry flinched, pain blooming in his heart, twisting like a white hot knife in his chest.

 

Barry felt his entire world end as Hartley looked at him coldly, and Barry… tears welled up in his eyes, a pain he’d never experiences before… the look of disgust on Hartley’s face before he turned to leave shattered him and he let out a choked, half-sob of a “no…!” before the door slammed shut behind Hartley.

 

He didn’t know how long he lay there, crying. He cried and cried, sobbing raggedly, but no amount of tears could bring him relief. By time he dragged his clothes on he was completely wiped of energy. He knew he needed to eat, but… he didn’t want to. Hell, he _welcomed_ the thought of passing out, of not having to feel or think for a bit.

 

He couldn’t deal with this on his own… so he called over the one person he could always talk to, intent on telling her… if not _everything_ … the basic gist.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------- 

 

Hartley was a complete wreck. He had destroyed nearly everything in his lab in a fit of rage, of self-hatred. The look on Barry’s face kept playing in the back of his mind and he screamed, tearing at his hair. What had he _done_? He saw the way Barry had looked at him before, saw the trust in his eyes, the- the actual _affection_!

 

Barry could have been the one; the one who would actually be able to love Hartley despite all his bullshit. He could have been the one to _fix_ him. If anyone could do it, Barry Allen would be the one. Beyond that, though… Hartley realized that he cared for Barry. A lot. More than he should. He ached for Barry’s touch, to hear his laugh caused by _him_ , to see him smile, and see that fondness there… He knew the man was in love with _Iris West_ , he thought the name bitterly, but maybe… maybe he could learn to love Hartley.

 

But Hartley had already screwed up so badly. Barry would never take him back, not after what he’d done… but maybe, just maybe… God, even the chance… Hell, even if it didn’t, and it made Barry _feel_ better, he wanted to do it. In a frenzy, he left. But when he stood outside of the West’s house…

 

Barry was crying. But he was not alone. Iris West sat with him, holding _his_ Barry, petting his hair… Iris cupped Barry’s cheeks, and…

 

… she kissed him…

 

… and Barry, he…

 

_He kissed back._

 

It was more than a kiss then, a rush of heat and feelings, and he could practically hear his Barry moan her name against her lips and-

 

… Not his Barry. _Hers_.

 

Hartley turned and left a storm in his soul. He arrived back at his place and paced, gulping in air, hyperventilating… his heart was pounding loudly in his ears, and he knew he was having an anxiety attack. **You fucked everything up.** _He was never going to love you anyway, who are you kidding? It was **always** her._

 

He ran to the bathroom, shakily turning on cold water and tearing his glasses away before splashing his face, trying to clear his thoughts, push the voiced away. He looked up, water dripping down his face, and what he saw… He had been… crying. Tears stained his cheeks, his blue eyes bright against a red background framed by dark, wet lashes. His expression wasn’t dark and angry…

 

His expression was tormented. His expression was pained, and sorrowful, regret riddled and… **He could have loved _you_**. Hartley screamed, punching the mirror so hard it shattered, bits of the glass embedding in his hands, and for a moment, the flare of pain blanked his mind. He gasped, a mad thought hitting him.

 

Without hesitation, he yanked the implants out of his ears. He crumbled to the ground, screaming as he clutched his now bleeding ears, face twisted in intense pain as he curled on the ground. But he didn’t regret it, no… because the screaming and piercing pain completely halted all thought, all emotion… he felt no regret, no heartbreak… just _pain_.

 

And wasn’t pain what he was meant for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this!
> 
> I know it was heartbreaking, and I hate myself for ending it this way. I am debating writing a happy(ier) alternate ending for this... Might post it as a oneshot, idk yet.
> 
> Anywho, if you'd like more of this, let me know! I'm open to prompts/requests, and fics based off songs are a lot of fun hehe. So let me know if you're interested!
> 
> Contact me by commenting here, or reaching out to my tumblr at goldeneyeskillerthighs or lightninggaveabs!

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't get it, this is a fic based on the song I Hate U I Love U by Gnash and inspired by filioprodigo on tumblr(Hartley Mun!) I will be posting some of the more relevant lyrics at the beginning of each chapter C:
> 
>  
> 
> If you want to interact with me or talk about the fic, either comment here or talk to me on my tumblr blogs! goldeneyeskillerthighs(A Gabriel RP blog for SPN) or lightninggaveabs(A Barry Allen RP blog)


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